All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Randomize
