I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Randomize
