Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize
