Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
