Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Randomize
