if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Randomize
