It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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