Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
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You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
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Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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