no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Randomize
