isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Randomize
