I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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