Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
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