I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize