I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
