I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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