I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize
