Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Let the clothes fall where they may.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
