Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
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