I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
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