How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Randomize
