His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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