dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
That accounts for only three of the penises
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I need water and some morals
Randomize
