Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
whose ass print is on the piano?
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
