shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
