Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
