i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
two words...techno handjob
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Randomize
