Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize