Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Randomize
