Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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