He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Randomize
