Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
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