So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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