and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
foreskin is a definite game changer
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Randomize
