ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Randomize
