i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
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