I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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