If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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