Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
