You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
