I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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