i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
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Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
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My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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