I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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