I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I love having hate sex.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize
