was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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