Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
I want to have your abortion
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
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