Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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