Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize