is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I FOUND THE LEGS
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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