..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Randomize
