My brain says no but my pants say off.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
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