i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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