i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
i will never coherently bang her
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
