she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Randomize
