at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
