I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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