I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize