Sponge bath it is.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
