It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Drunk is not a location!
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
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