So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
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Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
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My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
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