hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
