C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Randomize
