She is in my trunk
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize