that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
My penis needs a shock collar
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize
