Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
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