i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I yelled at your uterus for you.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
