thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Randomize
