I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
